This is just a repost of what I wrote on Craigslist last week.
I'm appalled. I mean I am really fucking angry. It's not a surprise to me, really the way *some* white people post here on CL. I mean this is a racist, classist world and the Bay Area, with all of our talk of enlightenment is no different. Those of you who know better should be up in arms against these assholes, because it makes all of you look bad.
It's just that today, for whatever reasons, it grates on me even more than usual. I like CL, I really do, and it bothers me to my core that this is not a place that we can have intelligent and civil discussions about race and class. I mean, damn. Anyone with half a brain can look at the facts and the way that whites act as a group and see that often, in acting in their own self interest, they ignore what is good for everyone else. So many people seem to think that we as a nation are beyond racism, that it's gone. It may not be legal or socially acceptable, but a deep hatred, fear and distrust for people of African descent is thriving in the hearts of "our sick white brothers" as Dr. King called you. I know this, I always have, but I continue to try to think that someday White America will wake up and do a better job of being human beings. But that is not my job. Dr King and many of his contemporaries really tried to appeal to you dumb motherfuckers, but you didn't listen, it just didn't make sense to you. It's not my job to try and convince you of my humanity, integrity or intelligence. I don't think that those among you who are racist are going to change. I also don't think as many people do, that a mass race war is going to help.
Killing only kills people, it is not going to change anything, a lot of people will die and the polemicists and radicals on either side will be justified in their hate. I am a Christian and my faith teaches me that killing is wrong period, but not everyone feels the way I do, and you know what? Today, reading the posts I understand. I really have to dig deep today, to not feed into your hate mongering jokes and posts.
I know something that you apparently do not. We did not get here like this. African people did not leave Africa as slaves. We did not come here over 216 years of importation and human breeding a broken people. African slavery and colonialism was a united and deliberate effort by the Catholic Church the European Monarchy and mercantile class of the nations of Europe to undermine, destabilize and depopulate Africa. It is no coincidence that the most corrupt African countries today are the same regions where most of the slaves were taken from. A great number of the monarchs, scholars and skilled laborers were brought to the west in chains, and then scattered across the Americas.This has been documented by Europeans, Africans, and Americans for a long time now. Africa is in such a terrible state because of 1)European greed 2)Lack of political sophistication and 3)The greed of the African leadership. It's absolutely frustrating that the leadership of the African continent cannot get their shit together enough to unite and throw off the yoke of European imperialism. This whole debt forgiveness thing is a sham. How can the world powers pretend that the Africans owe them anything? What about the Trillions in stolen capital that people who were enslaved represent? What about all of the African wealth stolen during the colonial years. Europeans still control most of the industrial capital in Africa! Europeans and Americans are directly responsible for the situations that created so much debt and destabilization in the first place!
The contemporary state of Black America is the fault of a multi generational campaign of government sponsored, assisted and condoned white supremacy and terrorism. From the slave importers, to the Ku Klux Klan, the Black Codes, the Jim Crow laws, to COINTELPRO. This is an undeniable truth and none of you revisionist history motherfucking assholes are going to successfully argue with me about that. I know for a fact that the cultures that we came to this country with were systematically destroyed. A people cannot sustain itself without their own culture. Hip Hop is not, should not be a sustaining culture of African people. It's cool, I love it, but it is no substitute for the majesty of having your own religion, language, social codes and history-the whole toolkit of a culture. I look at the various Asians, but especially the Chinese. No matter what they went through, they were able to maintain their beautiful culture, so they survived whatever was thrown at them. The indigenous people of the US and African people our cultures were destroyed by the white man in America. This too, is undeniable. I have no land to call my own. I have no language to call my own. I have no idea by what names and concepts my ancestors called our Gods. This is not because of the natural cycle of assimilation, but because of a concerted effort by White people to break the spirits of Africans in the enslavement process.
African Americans now for the most part have completely abandoned whatever vestiges of "Africaness" we had as a community. The traditions of extended family, service, collective responsibility, self improvement-all or most of that has been forgotten, rooted out, cast to the side, and yes those of us that remember are working hard to change that, and there is some hope, but it just makes it worse that there are so many ignorant white people that sit around and point the finger at a situation that was created to benefit them in the first place.
Only a broken people can suffer like we have and not struggle and strive for wholeness. This was done to us. White America has broken the spirit of Black America, but only Black America can repair itself. It kills me to see a grown man in the street, drunk at 11am, begging for money. It kills me to see so many of our young people pursuing self destruction at breakneck speed. I hate it, but I do not hate my people. There will be redemption, but we as Black people, have to work at it consciously and diligently. Our answers, our hope, our future is definitely not in the hands or hearts of white people. Our hope lies within ourselves, but we will not find it if we keep walking around with our hands out and our heads down. That effort only assists those who hate us.
I know that a lot of you are going to email me-go ahead do whatever, but I know that none of you racists are man enough to meet me and say to my face what you feel, none of you are willing to engage someone who is not afraid of you, not intimidated by you in conversation. I don't give a fuck about you and I am not afraid of you, I am singularly dedicated to the upliftment of my people.
And before you get started, my stepmother is white, and she is one of the best human beings I have ever known. She and my father have been married for almost thirty years. But even she has struggled with the ideas that her family raised her with. White supremacy is a disease, we all suffer from the effects of it, and we would all be better off without it. I will also say this. Poor white people, poor people in general-you are not the enemies of African people. Our enemy is mutual, but like the figurative devil that he is, he hides behind lies and tries to pit us against one another. The liberation of African people is the liberation of all people. I believe this with all my heart. This is what I fight for.
This IS rants and raves, I get to say whatever the hell I want.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Back to school and other musings
I recently returned to school after being out for 13 years. I participated in my graduation ceremony, but I never went back to take the 3 classes that I needed to graduate. There was just so much going on, I couldn’t focus to make it happen. I took some classes at
So here I am, in 2005 taking my last class so I can finally graduate and get my BA. It’s really humbling, being around so many bright young people. I was never as “on it” as these kids are, so I am learning. I am learning from my classmates, my instructor and my section leader, who happens to be a guy close to my age.
Education should be a tool that serves the cause of personal and communal Liberation. What we have now, what passes for education in most of our schools is training, training that doesn’t do anything but perpetuate the conditions that our communities find themselves in. A true education is one that serves to increase the intellectual capacity of the educated. A real education transmits skills that empower young people to become independent and self sufficient. I tell my students that education is a two way process, that their job is to learn, and the teachers’ job is to teach. If they are not learning in school, the failure is the teachers and the students.
-Afrikan Proverb
I write that on the board every day when I teach. I know my students look up to me, and so I try to teach by example. I want them to know that I am basically just an older version of them. I have gone through a lot of the same things they go through and came through on the other side ok. The other day I explained to my kids about the love that I have for them as my students. I have brilliant kids, but for whatever reasons, many of them are not making it in the schools here. It is not for lack of brainpower, all teachers have had some brilliant students who just don't make it. But the saddest thing is that these kids don't know how brilliant they are, they think that these grades mean something, that they really judge how smart the kids are. My young people desperately need to understand that they are beautiful, that they are brilliant, that they deserve all the best things in life. I am a grown man of 35. It has taken me my whole life to unlearn all the shit that I learned while I was trying to make it.
Somehow, I never learned to expect the best from myself, and I got used to being lax and lazy. I relied way too much on my natural intelligence and just getting over. That doesn't work for the long term. At some point, natural talent, or intelligence is not going to be enough, and hard work has to kick in.
That being said, I am teaching that to my students. We write, we talk, and they are learning to demand more of themselves.
I wanted to write here about a true friend, Child. Child is a music producer, DJ extraordinaire. I have a few friends who DJ professionally but I've been kicking it with him pretty tough for a couple of years now.
Anyway, I really respect the opinions of my friends. I went to his house last week to read some of the stuff that I've been writing. I expected to get an honest opinion, but I got something way more than that. He basically told me that I was not incredible, that my stuff was predictable and sounded like a whole lot of other stuff out there. It really threw me off, because all this time I've been thinking I am a pretty good writer. Apparently not. I am, but not incredibly so. Childs' advice to me was to write more like I talk, that would be better. He said that I am more compelling in person, that he would rather hear me talk about something that I am passionate about rather than read my poetry. Damn, right? No it was great!
So now, I am still going ahead with my book, fuck it, it's still my shit. I still think that what I write is relevant, but what I have to do more is to push myself to make my writing sound more like me when I am just sitting around with my folks.
My only aim is to communicate to have an impact with what I have to say.
Okay that's enough for now.
Peace to the Peaceful
-M
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Mary Eleanor Rhodes Hoover
This summer, my family buried one of the greatest African women to grace this planet. My Aunt Mary. You can google her name and see all the stuff she did. She was a pioneer in literacy, a leader in the thinking about Black Linguistics (Ebonics), a revolutionary educator, an awesome mom, etc. She was deep. Look her up for yourself. I want to take some time and space to tell you who she was to me.
Auntie was my other mother. There are a few women who I can say mothered me (my mom Brendah, my Stepmother, Hope, my best friends moms) but no one was like my Aunt Mary. She was, beside my mom, my first teacher. She had me reading and writing at age two. It is probably because of her, that I am a writer today.
Okay that's enough of that.
My Aunt Mary.
It's been a while and so now I can write about it. My Aunt Mary passed away this summer, and I tell you she was a giant. She was one of those people who everyone knows, she was often called on to speak about Ebonics and/or literacy. Aunt Mary was a genius. You can google her and read about all that other stuff online somewhere else. I want to write about who she was to me. I read her obit at the funeral. It was really long, I like to talk and by the time I finished reading it, I was tired. She did a lot for a lot of people. Spent her whole life serving African people worldwide, but like I said, you can read all about that somewhere else. I want to tell you, who ever reads this, what she meant to me.
Aunt Mary always, always, always believed in me. She taught me to read and write at the age of two, thus kickstarting my lifelong love of learning. My cousins used to joke that my favorite word was "why?" and it was probably because "why?" leads to the best reading, the best conversations, the best of a lot of things starts with "why?" Mary taught me to always question, even if the person you were asking was an elder. It is all in the way you ask the question, not the question you ask.
She never judged me. Even when I was terrible, just screwing up and running around acting like an asshole, she had a way of letting me know that I was not acting in the best interests of myself, our family or our people, that was not disparaging. It wasn't that she wasn't the kind of person to call someone out. There's a lot of people out there who didn't like her precisely because she would call them on their shit. Preferrably in public. No for me, she knew that I would just get defensive and shut down. She was a fierce black nationalist, and she loved African people with a love shown by few people these days. Which leads me to the next thing-service.
Aunt Mary told me once "If you are not on this earth to serve Black people and you see the state that we are in, what are you here for?! If you are not serving to uplift your people, you are weighing us all down!"
This message was communicated so clearly at her homegoing/funeral. She did so much for us, I can only hope to pick up some of her work.
Auntie was my other mother. There are a few women who I can say mothered me (my mom Brendah, my Stepmother, Hope, my best friends moms) but no one was like my Aunt Mary. She was, beside my mom, my first teacher. She had me reading and writing at age two. It is probably because of her, that I am a writer today.
**CORRECTION**
My mom, Brendah taught me to read and write, not my aunt Mary. My mom is also an excellent writer and if talent is genetic then I got whatever talent I have with words from her. My memory is really faulty and sometimes I misremember things....Sorry Mom. You're an awesome mom. You always have been.Okay that's enough of that.
My Aunt Mary.
It's been a while and so now I can write about it. My Aunt Mary passed away this summer, and I tell you she was a giant. She was one of those people who everyone knows, she was often called on to speak about Ebonics and/or literacy. Aunt Mary was a genius. You can google her and read about all that other stuff online somewhere else. I want to write about who she was to me. I read her obit at the funeral. It was really long, I like to talk and by the time I finished reading it, I was tired. She did a lot for a lot of people. Spent her whole life serving African people worldwide, but like I said, you can read all about that somewhere else. I want to tell you, who ever reads this, what she meant to me.
Aunt Mary always, always, always believed in me. She taught me to read and write at the age of two, thus kickstarting my lifelong love of learning. My cousins used to joke that my favorite word was "why?" and it was probably because "why?" leads to the best reading, the best conversations, the best of a lot of things starts with "why?" Mary taught me to always question, even if the person you were asking was an elder. It is all in the way you ask the question, not the question you ask.
She never judged me. Even when I was terrible, just screwing up and running around acting like an asshole, she had a way of letting me know that I was not acting in the best interests of myself, our family or our people, that was not disparaging. It wasn't that she wasn't the kind of person to call someone out. There's a lot of people out there who didn't like her precisely because she would call them on their shit. Preferrably in public. No for me, she knew that I would just get defensive and shut down. She was a fierce black nationalist, and she loved African people with a love shown by few people these days. Which leads me to the next thing-service.
Aunt Mary told me once "If you are not on this earth to serve Black people and you see the state that we are in, what are you here for?! If you are not serving to uplift your people, you are weighing us all down!"
This message was communicated so clearly at her homegoing/funeral. She did so much for us, I can only hope to pick up some of her work.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Got an artist...looking for a printer
Nommo. Word Sound Power. Visualization. Quantum mechanics. Prayer. All linked. I am on a magical path. I'm back in school and it's greater than I ever imagined. There are folks at the University who are really helping me and I keep running into people who push me along, give me good information, link me up with other good folks. It is all working out, somehow or another. I prayed on it, I visualized it, I claimed it. It is real and happening right now.
My book is coming along well, I'm getting some people to do the art and now I'm trying to find the best printer. The brother who is going to do the cover, Marlon, is a great artist...check him out at www.marloningram.com
I have a cousin who is an amazing painter and he is going to do some work for the book too. In the meantime, I have to keep editing and writing. I have almost all of the pieces written, but I keep finding new ones to put in or wanting to change something. As soon as I reach that magic number, 144, I'm done, it's a wrap.
WORK-or "I am all that I am, not all that I seem!"
It's hard to call it work. I love what I do for money. I teach a life skills class to kids from my community at an adult school. My students come to our program after school and stay in our classrooms until 6pm. It's great. We get the kids that are failing, are kind of wierd misfits, or just fell behind. Whatever. They are brilliant and I love working with them. All this week these two young women have been coming in and doing a class on sexual assault-getting the kids to define it, talking about the effects of sexual assault, the social aspects of it. It's great and they negotiate a very difficult topic exceedingly well. I wouldn't want to do it. Now my kids for the most part are some ghetto ass young people. I expect greatness from them, no I demand that they be great when they are around me, but hey, they're still teens and wadareyagonnadew? Teens are prone to act up if they think they can or if they feel uncomfortable. It's "Oh this is making me uncomfortable, so I am going to act up in here, normalize this situation so I do know how to handle it.." Well, this week I have seen my kids really engage in intelligent, thoughtful conversation and anaysis. I wish that their regular teachers could see the way that they attacked that really difficult topic this week. Boys and Girls, I was really impressed. It's not just that, I mean I know that a lot of them have crazy situations at home, but they persevere. We offer them a lot of support, but the light and the love that we get from them, that's priceless.
They've labeled our babies-generation X,Y, Z AKA Smiling Happy Fools, but I know that they are nothing less than Shining Diamonds and Precious Jewels.
It kills me that my kids are not getting the best education. Every day, when they come to class, as part of the check in, i get them to tell me something that they learned in school. If they have nothing to say, I tell them drop out now and go get a GED. You are wasting your time if you're just showing up and sitting in class. I try to teach them that they have to be active in their own educations. Teachers have to sometimes be reminded that we are there for our students, not ourselves. Getting them to talk about what they learned in school is also a good self reflective excercise. I can remember going home from school some days and feeling like I didn't learn anything. Not because the teachers were not attempting to teach, I was just not a cooperative learner.
Many of my kids come from immigrant families-Tongan and Mexican. It's very good for me to work with Poly and Mex people because I am learning a lot from the kids about their cultures. Everyone is not the same. Hip Hop has done a great job of uniting the youth, but it has not made everyone the same. Even if they do all call each other Nigga...
Whatever I am tired. Goodnight Moon.
For my students. I posted this poem last year, but ima post it again, because I like it so much.
My book is coming along well, I'm getting some people to do the art and now I'm trying to find the best printer. The brother who is going to do the cover, Marlon, is a great artist...check him out at www.marloningram.com
I have a cousin who is an amazing painter and he is going to do some work for the book too. In the meantime, I have to keep editing and writing. I have almost all of the pieces written, but I keep finding new ones to put in or wanting to change something. As soon as I reach that magic number, 144, I'm done, it's a wrap.
WORK-or "I am all that I am, not all that I seem!"
It's hard to call it work. I love what I do for money. I teach a life skills class to kids from my community at an adult school. My students come to our program after school and stay in our classrooms until 6pm. It's great. We get the kids that are failing, are kind of wierd misfits, or just fell behind. Whatever. They are brilliant and I love working with them. All this week these two young women have been coming in and doing a class on sexual assault-getting the kids to define it, talking about the effects of sexual assault, the social aspects of it. It's great and they negotiate a very difficult topic exceedingly well. I wouldn't want to do it. Now my kids for the most part are some ghetto ass young people. I expect greatness from them, no I demand that they be great when they are around me, but hey, they're still teens and wadareyagonnadew? Teens are prone to act up if they think they can or if they feel uncomfortable. It's "Oh this is making me uncomfortable, so I am going to act up in here, normalize this situation so I do know how to handle it.." Well, this week I have seen my kids really engage in intelligent, thoughtful conversation and anaysis. I wish that their regular teachers could see the way that they attacked that really difficult topic this week. Boys and Girls, I was really impressed. It's not just that, I mean I know that a lot of them have crazy situations at home, but they persevere. We offer them a lot of support, but the light and the love that we get from them, that's priceless.
They've labeled our babies-generation X,Y, Z AKA Smiling Happy Fools, but I know that they are nothing less than Shining Diamonds and Precious Jewels.
It kills me that my kids are not getting the best education. Every day, when they come to class, as part of the check in, i get them to tell me something that they learned in school. If they have nothing to say, I tell them drop out now and go get a GED. You are wasting your time if you're just showing up and sitting in class. I try to teach them that they have to be active in their own educations. Teachers have to sometimes be reminded that we are there for our students, not ourselves. Getting them to talk about what they learned in school is also a good self reflective excercise. I can remember going home from school some days and feeling like I didn't learn anything. Not because the teachers were not attempting to teach, I was just not a cooperative learner.
Many of my kids come from immigrant families-Tongan and Mexican. It's very good for me to work with Poly and Mex people because I am learning a lot from the kids about their cultures. Everyone is not the same. Hip Hop has done a great job of uniting the youth, but it has not made everyone the same. Even if they do all call each other Nigga...
Whatever I am tired. Goodnight Moon.
For my students. I posted this poem last year, but ima post it again, because I like it so much.
Freedom Fighter
The little brothers and sisters they call upon when they need some battles fought
When someone's got to get gassed or shot
And whether you believe it or not
They are training, mining and finding our children in these inner city schools
They’ve labeled them generation “XYZ” aka Shining Happy Fools
But I know that they are nothing less than Shining Diamonds and Precious Jewels
The masters tools?
We are going to take them and remake them.
Lawmakers creating all these new laws to control our lives
While we steady innovatin on how to break them..
And when I see my people I’m yelling “As Salaam Alaikum”
Whether you’re Muslim or not
Because for you, my brother? Peace. Love. Happiness.
Your back is all I got.
In case you forgot, you wanted to know what I thought, what I was thinking
Is that you’re beautiful. You are beautiful.
The most amazing thing I have ever seen is the smile of an African child with uninterrupted dreams.
One who can say “I am all that I am! Not all that I seem!”
And I am going to continue along these themes
They say that “Freedom is a road seldom traveled by the multitudes”
but who among the masses wants to remain a slave?
Raise your hand if you want to be listened to and raise a fist if you’re willing to be brave.
As for myself, I will only march and parade behind the flag that Freedom and Justice wave.
They want to control your soul, so they say its only Jesus, but I know its only Gods' loving Grace that saves.
But sometimes I have questions, so I bend my knees and raise my head and hands to the sky.
I get down, I beg, I plead and I ask God “Why?”
But I already know the answer, I always have.
The truth lies right before me,
And so I pledge to walk this walk
To Fight this fight
To live this life
Of a Freedom Fighter
Until the day I die.
Reading this for the umpteenth time. I should write another poem to go along with this one. okay now I really am going to sleep.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Damn! I like to write.
I just posted something on Craigslist in the Rants and Raves section. It's not the best thing I've ever written, really off the top of my head, but that's what a Rant is right? In any case, I've been reading CL for a few years and the white people who post on there, some of them are just 0ff The Hook racists. This shit is crazy! They just joke and call us all kinds of names. Well I was having a particularly hard morning, so I just got tired of no one standing up for Black folks and I fired this off....
http://www.craigslist.org/pen/rnr/101870595.html
Peace to the Peaceful
-M
http://www.craigslist.org/pen/rnr/101870595.html
Peace to the Peaceful
-M
Thursday, September 29, 2005
middle class black kid becomes platinum rapper
Kanye West is not so unusual. He is not the first middle class kid to become a famous rapper. Some of the most popular hip hop artists come from very solid middle and working class families. Think Ice Cube, whose family forced him to go to college before he could go and hang out with NWA, think Will Smith, whose father was a judge in Philly, think LL Cool J-who used to brag that he got "2 bikes" every Christmas. Nowadays in Hip Hop, everyone claims a previous life of poverty, but that ain't always the truth.
I like Kanye because he is not apologizing for who he is. In that way he is a lot like 'Pac. Pac was another man who was very honest about his struggles with what he knew what he should do, and what his desires and passions told him to do.
Kanye is so incredible because he is telling the truth of his life, what he feels. He said "George Bush doesn't care about Black people" but he isn't the only person thinking that. We have all been thinking that since the very beginning. I am not fooled by Condi or Colin or Alberto or anyone else in his cabinet. I have only heard them talk about economic justice for people of color and poor people since the Hurricane blew the covers off the bed.
But anyway back to Kanye
Kanyes' beats are so nasty. He has a great musical ear. I hear Stevie Wonder and Donnie Hathaway influences a lot in his music. He makes me go back to the old music and listen to it a lot. His beats slap and they have a groove unlike anything else being made right now. He honestly is not the best rapper, but he's okay and better than a lot of other so called MCs out there. His sincerity and honesty, plus the fact that many of us can identify with the way he feels. He talks really honestly about his feelings about women and the way the world is. What young man isn't thinking about the world and his future in it? Of course we want the Shiny Things, but at what cost? Of course we want to be faithful to our women, but damn these other women look good. Kanye is showing that it is okay to be a complex human being.
The Funny thing
is that Kanye was well on the way to taking his place among the black bourgeousie of America. He was in college, his mom is a professor, all he had to do was graduate and find a job. He could have done his music thing on the side, but he chose to leave school and become a producer/rapper. His personal aspiration was the same as the countless thousands of kids for who college is/was a far off hope. He shares a lot with the common, everyday black guy. He likes women, cars and being looked at and listened to.
Anyway, I'm listening to a Democracy Now! broadcast with Suheir Hammad. Damn. Some people are writers but they are not good performers (me), others can perform but can't seem to write for shit. Suheir is in a third category. She's not a performer, but she is an excellent reciter and poet/writer. She caresses each word, a pleasure to listen to.
done for now
Peace world.
I like Kanye because he is not apologizing for who he is. In that way he is a lot like 'Pac. Pac was another man who was very honest about his struggles with what he knew what he should do, and what his desires and passions told him to do.
Kanye is so incredible because he is telling the truth of his life, what he feels. He said "George Bush doesn't care about Black people" but he isn't the only person thinking that. We have all been thinking that since the very beginning. I am not fooled by Condi or Colin or Alberto or anyone else in his cabinet. I have only heard them talk about economic justice for people of color and poor people since the Hurricane blew the covers off the bed.
But anyway back to Kanye
Kanyes' beats are so nasty. He has a great musical ear. I hear Stevie Wonder and Donnie Hathaway influences a lot in his music. He makes me go back to the old music and listen to it a lot. His beats slap and they have a groove unlike anything else being made right now. He honestly is not the best rapper, but he's okay and better than a lot of other so called MCs out there. His sincerity and honesty, plus the fact that many of us can identify with the way he feels. He talks really honestly about his feelings about women and the way the world is. What young man isn't thinking about the world and his future in it? Of course we want the Shiny Things, but at what cost? Of course we want to be faithful to our women, but damn these other women look good. Kanye is showing that it is okay to be a complex human being.
The Funny thing
is that Kanye was well on the way to taking his place among the black bourgeousie of America. He was in college, his mom is a professor, all he had to do was graduate and find a job. He could have done his music thing on the side, but he chose to leave school and become a producer/rapper. His personal aspiration was the same as the countless thousands of kids for who college is/was a far off hope. He shares a lot with the common, everyday black guy. He likes women, cars and being looked at and listened to.
Anyway, I'm listening to a Democracy Now! broadcast with Suheir Hammad. Damn. Some people are writers but they are not good performers (me), others can perform but can't seem to write for shit. Suheir is in a third category. She's not a performer, but she is an excellent reciter and poet/writer. She caresses each word, a pleasure to listen to.
done for now
Peace world.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Fire Burn, Water Run
A retrospective on the events of the past few weeks.
Fire Burn, Fire Burn
Fire Burn
The Burning Bush
The Bush is on Fire
The whole House is on Fire
And the people in New Orleans need water
But the government let the motherfucker burn anyway
The wizards' curtain is falling down.
Finally, all the rest of the clowns are falling out of the trickmobile.
Surely, someone will talk.
Someone has to leak the story.
Someone has to leak the government. Someone leaked Enron, someone leaked Chevron, Someone leaked Vietnam (and died a lot).
The government has a way of making outspoken people gone, quiet, or at best irrelevant and compromised.
America only promises one thing-you can die here. America has a lot of shit that will kill your ass, will attempt to hijack and kidnap you.
Americas greatest crime and best talent is that if you buy the lie (American Dream)
America will separate you from yourself. You will be far from your origin-If you buy the lie. If you do not, then you will not be happy here in America.
The American Dream is just that-a fantasy held to be true because of widespread mass delusion that this is a fair and just society. So far, very few people have lived the American Dream, but I know a lot who share the American Nightmare experience.
I am poor and suffering in America. My children are ill, my elders are dying, and my people, people who look and and live just like I do, are in dying on international television. My children are killing one another in the streets. Everywhere I look, there is pain and no one cares. Are we not also Americans? Do we not deserve the love and compassion of our fellow Americans? These compassionate conservatives have talked the talk, now it is time to walk the walk. Poor people got completely washed out and no one seems to care. This shit is evil. Once again, America shows her ass to her most vulnerable and least listened to, least cared about citizens.
“Black America suffers today on NPR” we’re taking your calls.
“Katrina kicks poor niggas in the ass today on KPFA”
“Niggas die as America looks on; get it first here on CNN”
That’s the news
That’s entertainment. What we like to see, this is not reality TV, this is real life.
White America likes to see a nigga suffer. The CNN commentator says-“They did not evacuate, It is their own fault…” What?!
They are calling them "refugees"
“I didn’t know? We could not have known? Noone knew? All llies. They knew. I knew, they all knew. ABC GE NBC KBHQ ABCDEF-Stuck on F for “we fucked up, fuck you. Fuck yeah” Devil ass Devil ….
Of course the niggas is still acting up. How come you remove everything I have, everything, remove all I have because I am in the way of the wave of the destruction-I am worthless? I-we-these people are the sons and daughters of the slaves
They are my costars in this, the Amerikan nightmare. For us, this sweet life is incredibly sour.
So yes, fire burn, flood run wild
New Orleans is Flooded and Burning
Baghdad was burning and looted
LA was looted and burned
Detroit looted and burned
Watts burned and looted
New York bombed and burned some
It all fell down
London burned
Were they really so surprised? If you strip away everything, every thing is washed away, and there is no hope, what am I supposed to do? 500 cops in New Orleans left the job. 2 killed themselves. Can you see that even when the lawmakers lose hope, what is the ordinary citizen to think?
Homeland Security takes over FEMA. Wanna know why? Because in times of crisis, poor motherfuckers do not act like they are supposed to. There will be unrest from the natives. They become an internal threat.
What they need is a department of “Nigga Act Right” Chief Head Nigga in Charge of the NAR-Colin Powell.
I know looking at all this water I am not the only one thinking of Noah. I would bet that when it is all rebuilt, that New Orleans will be either a really fly, model city with super fly ass stuff or the expense required to recreate the city for these people will constantly be questioned. Cause you know what? Niggas is going back to the NO. They are going to get fat ass FEMA checks-there are going to be numerous fraud allegations, incriminations, indictments. “She bought a Fendi bag with her FEMA card….”
How can you convict a person for doing what they think they should to save their life? How can you put a dollar value on someones’ life? How much for the drowned crack baby? For the 95 year old grandmother who died on her rooftop? For the little girl in the wheelchair who was unable to fight the rising water?
Niggas in Need(NiN) + DISASTER-(the law) * (-hope)=mass motherfucking chaos (squared) /FAITH
A sister on the television called it genocide and at first I disagreed but now I change my mind. This shit is so diabolical.
Fire Burn, Fire Burn
Fire Burn
The Burning Bush
The Bush is on Fire
The whole House is on Fire
And the people in New Orleans need water
But the government let the motherfucker burn anyway
The wizards' curtain is falling down.
Finally, all the rest of the clowns are falling out of the trickmobile.
Surely, someone will talk.
Someone has to leak the story.
Someone has to leak the government. Someone leaked Enron, someone leaked Chevron, Someone leaked Vietnam (and died a lot).
The government has a way of making outspoken people gone, quiet, or at best irrelevant and compromised.
America only promises one thing-you can die here. America has a lot of shit that will kill your ass, will attempt to hijack and kidnap you.
Americas greatest crime and best talent is that if you buy the lie (American Dream)
America will separate you from yourself. You will be far from your origin-If you buy the lie. If you do not, then you will not be happy here in America.
The American Dream is just that-a fantasy held to be true because of widespread mass delusion that this is a fair and just society. So far, very few people have lived the American Dream, but I know a lot who share the American Nightmare experience.
I am poor and suffering in America. My children are ill, my elders are dying, and my people, people who look and and live just like I do, are in dying on international television. My children are killing one another in the streets. Everywhere I look, there is pain and no one cares. Are we not also Americans? Do we not deserve the love and compassion of our fellow Americans? These compassionate conservatives have talked the talk, now it is time to walk the walk. Poor people got completely washed out and no one seems to care. This shit is evil. Once again, America shows her ass to her most vulnerable and least listened to, least cared about citizens.
“Black America suffers today on NPR” we’re taking your calls.
“Katrina kicks poor niggas in the ass today on KPFA”
“Niggas die as America looks on; get it first here on CNN”
That’s the news
That’s entertainment. What we like to see, this is not reality TV, this is real life.
White America likes to see a nigga suffer. The CNN commentator says-“They did not evacuate, It is their own fault…” What?!
They are calling them "refugees"
“I didn’t know? We could not have known? Noone knew? All llies. They knew. I knew, they all knew. ABC GE NBC KBHQ ABCDEF-Stuck on F for “we fucked up, fuck you. Fuck yeah” Devil ass Devil ….
Of course the niggas is still acting up. How come you remove everything I have, everything, remove all I have because I am in the way of the wave of the destruction-I am worthless? I-we-these people are the sons and daughters of the slaves
They are my costars in this, the Amerikan nightmare. For us, this sweet life is incredibly sour.
So yes, fire burn, flood run wild
New Orleans is Flooded and Burning
Baghdad was burning and looted
LA was looted and burned
Detroit looted and burned
Watts burned and looted
New York bombed and burned some
It all fell down
London burned
Were they really so surprised? If you strip away everything, every thing is washed away, and there is no hope, what am I supposed to do? 500 cops in New Orleans left the job. 2 killed themselves. Can you see that even when the lawmakers lose hope, what is the ordinary citizen to think?
Homeland Security takes over FEMA. Wanna know why? Because in times of crisis, poor motherfuckers do not act like they are supposed to. There will be unrest from the natives. They become an internal threat.
What they need is a department of “Nigga Act Right” Chief Head Nigga in Charge of the NAR-Colin Powell.
I know looking at all this water I am not the only one thinking of Noah. I would bet that when it is all rebuilt, that New Orleans will be either a really fly, model city with super fly ass stuff or the expense required to recreate the city for these people will constantly be questioned. Cause you know what? Niggas is going back to the NO. They are going to get fat ass FEMA checks-there are going to be numerous fraud allegations, incriminations, indictments. “She bought a Fendi bag with her FEMA card….”
How can you convict a person for doing what they think they should to save their life? How can you put a dollar value on someones’ life? How much for the drowned crack baby? For the 95 year old grandmother who died on her rooftop? For the little girl in the wheelchair who was unable to fight the rising water?
Niggas in Need(NiN) + DISASTER-(the law) * (-hope)=mass motherfucking chaos (squared) /FAITH
A sister on the television called it genocide and at first I disagreed but now I change my mind. This shit is so diabolical.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Update
I haven't seen Laila for more than two weeks. I probably could have seen her on Sunday, for the day, but it just didn't work out. I have to take Laila shopping, it's getting cold out here. I gotta send Aaron some stuff too.
new poems
Faith
1.
He flung his black body
out into space
hoping that someone
who had a vested interest in his survival
would catch him
2.
She picked up the phone, crying
hoping that hope and help
would answer.
And not for the first or last time
She told them
How she was afraid
and how he had hit her
And not for the first or last time
They begged her to leave
before she got kilt.
Black Superman
S is for Superman
Black Superman like
my daddy who say
"the Poor cannot afford to be sick"
and
"Boy if you had a brain you'd be dangerous"
But I am already dangerous
I am a Black Superman too.
Sing
Sing your soul angel songs
to the midnite Lords of sky and earth
Sea and Space
Their battle dance
sends shivers down my spine
here
I see only the costs of bloodshed and war
Where before I saw peace and prosperity
there have been many battles here
new poems
Faith
1.
He flung his black body
out into space
hoping that someone
who had a vested interest in his survival
would catch him
2.
She picked up the phone, crying
hoping that hope and help
would answer.
And not for the first or last time
She told them
How she was afraid
and how he had hit her
And not for the first or last time
They begged her to leave
before she got kilt.
Black Superman
S is for Superman
Black Superman like
my daddy who say
"the Poor cannot afford to be sick"
and
"Boy if you had a brain you'd be dangerous"
But I am already dangerous
I am a Black Superman too.
Sing
Sing your soul angel songs
to the midnite Lords of sky and earth
Sea and Space
Their battle dance
sends shivers down my spine
here
I see only the costs of bloodshed and war
Where before I saw peace and prosperity
there have been many battles here
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Writing my first book
I don't know if I wrote about it here before, but I am writing my first book. It's called 144. Short for 144 Poems and Essays for God, Love, Peace, Justice and Hip Hop. It's not even fair to say that I am writing a new book, I am really just editing it, pulling together stuff that I have written over the last 20 plus years.
My concept is to put together 144 of my favorite pieces with artwork from artists and photographers. I have some work from Tempt, Twist and some other local heroes. I have some photos that I've taken, alot of cool stuff to put in the book. I think it will be successful.
Some of the poems that are on this blog will be in the book: My enemy, She thug, I do not Love America. All of those will be included.
Peace to the Peaceful
-M
My concept is to put together 144 of my favorite pieces with artwork from artists and photographers. I have some work from Tempt, Twist and some other local heroes. I have some photos that I've taken, alot of cool stuff to put in the book. I think it will be successful.
Some of the poems that are on this blog will be in the book: My enemy, She thug, I do not Love America. All of those will be included.
Peace to the Peaceful
-M
Monday, September 12, 2005
my daughter one year
Today is my daughter Lailas' one year birthday. This is the time when I reflect on how much life has changed for me in the past year. Laila, like Katrina pulled the covers off of a lot of stuff. She has made me look at my self as a man. I am a much better person than I ever have been. I have more energy, I am more focused and more honest. Her presence has made me really want to be a better person. It is taking a lot of effort, because I have been such an irresponsible asshole for so long, I have all these bad habits to break, but honestly I feel much better about who I am.
Anyway, Laila is a beautiful child. She recently began walking and she says a few words "Baba", "Dada", "Laila" and of course she has her own baby language. She talks to me a lot, she lets me know whenever she needs something. She has a great face, her expressions are not like anyone elses. I am really excited to hear her start talking using actual language that I can understand. Half of her family speaks Spanish, so I hope that she will retain Spanish a she gets older.
I want her to be a really strong, independent and cultured child. She is already really independent. She will climb around and really work to get what she wants. If she wants to get down from her bed, she will crawl over and hang down until she drops and then go do whatever it is that she feels like she needs to do. It's a great thing to watch this child develop. The hardest thing is not being in the same household with my children.
I know in this modern day, single parenthood is normal. We split custody, pay child support and generally move through life as part time parents. But we pt parents are missing out on a lot. We miss out on learning from our coparents. We miss out on the side that our child shows around the other parent. We miss out on countless small moments of learning and development with our children. I hate that-missing those small moments.
The best I can do is to keep moving forward, trying to be a good guy and maintaining consistent contact with my daughter and her mom.
I have both of my kids part time and it is not a situation that I advise. We are not supposed to visit our children until they leave our homes. We are supposed to go to sleep and wake up to our kids every day.
Next weekend, we are going to do some really fun stuff. I am totally in love with my baby girl.
Anyway, Laila is a beautiful child. She recently began walking and she says a few words "Baba", "Dada", "Laila" and of course she has her own baby language. She talks to me a lot, she lets me know whenever she needs something. She has a great face, her expressions are not like anyone elses. I am really excited to hear her start talking using actual language that I can understand. Half of her family speaks Spanish, so I hope that she will retain Spanish a she gets older.
I want her to be a really strong, independent and cultured child. She is already really independent. She will climb around and really work to get what she wants. If she wants to get down from her bed, she will crawl over and hang down until she drops and then go do whatever it is that she feels like she needs to do. It's a great thing to watch this child develop. The hardest thing is not being in the same household with my children.
I know in this modern day, single parenthood is normal. We split custody, pay child support and generally move through life as part time parents. But we pt parents are missing out on a lot. We miss out on learning from our coparents. We miss out on the side that our child shows around the other parent. We miss out on countless small moments of learning and development with our children. I hate that-missing those small moments.
The best I can do is to keep moving forward, trying to be a good guy and maintaining consistent contact with my daughter and her mom.
I have both of my kids part time and it is not a situation that I advise. We are not supposed to visit our children until they leave our homes. We are supposed to go to sleep and wake up to our kids every day.
Next weekend, we are going to do some really fun stuff. I am totally in love with my baby girl.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Saul Williams
Yesterday, I went to the Power to the Peaceful festival in San Francisco. I hadn't been in SF for over a month and then to go when there were all those people around me high and drinking and stinking like BO and patchouli oil.....well it wasn't the ideal experience. But whatever I was walking around people watching most of the time anyway.
My buddy had backstage passes so that's where I was when I met Saul.
What a great experience. I shared some work with him and the other brothers that were there and it was only after Saul and this brother Selassie went, that I realized how monotonal and unexciting I sound. I need to find someone to help me step it up. If I want to move to the next level as a performer.
As a writer, he really is one of my models right now. In any case, Ima send him some writing and hope that he sends me some input back.
I am really encouraged about my writing, I am finding a lot of good material to edit and Im writing some new stuff too.
Is anyone reading this? Let me know.
Peace to the Peaceful
My buddy had backstage passes so that's where I was when I met Saul.
What a great experience. I shared some work with him and the other brothers that were there and it was only after Saul and this brother Selassie went, that I realized how monotonal and unexciting I sound. I need to find someone to help me step it up. If I want to move to the next level as a performer.
As a writer, he really is one of my models right now. In any case, Ima send him some writing and hope that he sends me some input back.
I am really encouraged about my writing, I am finding a lot of good material to edit and Im writing some new stuff too.
Is anyone reading this? Let me know.
Peace to the Peaceful
Thursday, September 08, 2005
damn
I'm tired. I have come to the recent conclusion is that the best thing to do is to always walk in my own truth. I don't need to be anyone elses' Malcolm. I only need to be my own man, and it does not matter if anyone else likes me, agrees with me or thinks that I am okay. I am doing what I need to do and that's all I need to do.
Peace to the Hurricane victims.
-M
Peace to the Hurricane victims.
-M
Friday, September 02, 2005
The Worst thing to be in America is poor
Ultimately it's about money here in the United States. It's not about where you live or who you vote for, it's just about how much money you have. The wealthy people do not suffer in the ways that those of us who don't have money do. Look at New Orleans, the face of Hurricane Katrina is that of a young black woman suffering with her family. The wealthy citizens of New Orleans (no matter the race) got the hell out. God Bless them. But who was thinking about all of those people who could not afford to leave, who had no cars, who had no relatives to go and stay with? Who thought about them? No one did.
Maybe the Mayor, maybe the Governor, the Congresspeople, local officials. Maybe they actually didn't know it was going to be this bad. But no matter, it is really bad and our response as a naton has been extremely slow. The level of compassion is so low, I can't even say I am ashamed or dissapointed, but I hate to show the rest of the world that this is how pathetic America really is.
We can rush to bomb some people. We can hurry up to destroy, but when it comes to saving the lives of Americas' most needy, we are slow to react. Quick to destroy, slow to build.
It is also absolutely a matter of race. White America has been feeling like it is carrying the burden of Black Americans for the past 20-25 years. The problems of Black Americas poverty are trotted out on a daily basis for all of the world to see. Welfare, Joblessness, crime, broken families, poor social skills, delinquent youth, etc. All of the world thinks that these are only black peoples' problems here in the US, but these are the problems of any people that have been systematically denied advancement. Look at any people anywhere who are subject to poverty and you will see similar symptoms. Black folks are not the only ones who live low, look at the poor white people on daytime television. They didn't learn how to act stupid from black folks, that's just how they know how to be.
I am listening to the radio and most of the people that they have on speak with that thick, southern accent, their dialect is real deep south. They are not your typical NPR guests. I know much of America is cringing at hearing their "yaknowahimeans" and "yalls" on tv and radio. I know that they don't even want to know that people still talk like that. I know that they're thinking couldn' t they have found someone better? But you know what? The truth is painful. These are the people who couldn't get out. The ignored folks who live in the bottoms. It is these people who need the help most. Not just now in the times of Hurricane relief, but for the next few generations. These are the people who need support to get good educations, to make healthy life choices, to lead peaceful productive lives. These people are the direct descendants of the enslaved Africans, the ones who never had education, who didn't leave the South during the Great Migration in the forties. They are Americas dirty secret and all the Hurricane did is wash away the covering so that the world could see them.
Maybe the Mayor, maybe the Governor, the Congresspeople, local officials. Maybe they actually didn't know it was going to be this bad. But no matter, it is really bad and our response as a naton has been extremely slow. The level of compassion is so low, I can't even say I am ashamed or dissapointed, but I hate to show the rest of the world that this is how pathetic America really is.
We can rush to bomb some people. We can hurry up to destroy, but when it comes to saving the lives of Americas' most needy, we are slow to react. Quick to destroy, slow to build.
It is also absolutely a matter of race. White America has been feeling like it is carrying the burden of Black Americans for the past 20-25 years. The problems of Black Americas poverty are trotted out on a daily basis for all of the world to see. Welfare, Joblessness, crime, broken families, poor social skills, delinquent youth, etc. All of the world thinks that these are only black peoples' problems here in the US, but these are the problems of any people that have been systematically denied advancement. Look at any people anywhere who are subject to poverty and you will see similar symptoms. Black folks are not the only ones who live low, look at the poor white people on daytime television. They didn't learn how to act stupid from black folks, that's just how they know how to be.
I am listening to the radio and most of the people that they have on speak with that thick, southern accent, their dialect is real deep south. They are not your typical NPR guests. I know much of America is cringing at hearing their "yaknowahimeans" and "yalls" on tv and radio. I know that they don't even want to know that people still talk like that. I know that they're thinking couldn' t they have found someone better? But you know what? The truth is painful. These are the people who couldn't get out. The ignored folks who live in the bottoms. It is these people who need the help most. Not just now in the times of Hurricane relief, but for the next few generations. These are the people who need support to get good educations, to make healthy life choices, to lead peaceful productive lives. These people are the direct descendants of the enslaved Africans, the ones who never had education, who didn't leave the South during the Great Migration in the forties. They are Americas dirty secret and all the Hurricane did is wash away the covering so that the world could see them.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Life is hard sometimes
It just is, and that's a hard thing to accept. I have some issues, I know I do. I got all kinds of things to work out, but I am doing it. I've made a lot of progress love, but like I said, life is hard. I look around, I am working, I am writing, I am pushing myself to work even when I least feel like it, and I am not taking the crap that I used to take.
I am also being honest. I am not the man that I used to pretend to be. I need to take my ass to church.
I sent my son home today and I see so much of myself in him. It's true that we pass on to our kids what we don't work through. I see him struggling with things that I still struggle with in my adulthood. We are both absent minded, sensitive people. I see that he also has some esteem issues and that's something that I struggled with.
I don't know what the point of this post is, but I am just trying to get the stuff out of my head so I can process it.
He's a great kid though and I want the best for him. I am determined to do the best I can for him, which means pushing harder than I've pushed to this point. People want to say that it's not the money you give, but having money and not having to worry about things like healthcare or healthy food, or having enough space, all those things lend themselves to a high quality of life.
I want to give my kids the life they deserve, and I get really frustrated with myself because money is so short. I am accustomed to struggling, but this struggle is one that I am really tired of.
My faith is my strength. I will abide in that.
Peace
I am also being honest. I am not the man that I used to pretend to be. I need to take my ass to church.
I sent my son home today and I see so much of myself in him. It's true that we pass on to our kids what we don't work through. I see him struggling with things that I still struggle with in my adulthood. We are both absent minded, sensitive people. I see that he also has some esteem issues and that's something that I struggled with.
I don't know what the point of this post is, but I am just trying to get the stuff out of my head so I can process it.
He's a great kid though and I want the best for him. I am determined to do the best I can for him, which means pushing harder than I've pushed to this point. People want to say that it's not the money you give, but having money and not having to worry about things like healthcare or healthy food, or having enough space, all those things lend themselves to a high quality of life.
I want to give my kids the life they deserve, and I get really frustrated with myself because money is so short. I am accustomed to struggling, but this struggle is one that I am really tired of.
My faith is my strength. I will abide in that.
Peace
Friday, August 05, 2005
some new poems
Untitled 1
Hot bullets + your young lungs=the end of breathing
Too many young black men
Line up to hold and carry
Black burners
That hold hot bullets
Specially designed to pierce your young flesh
Non discrimination when and where they choose to enter, to meet your vital organs
They rush to remove the air from your lungs and replace it with blood
They want to push you closer to the ground
So now it’s you or the 15 year old with the hand grenade, who knows that he is going to die and is intent on taking you with him. He has concentrated his whole lifes meaning into an explosive power held in his right hand and he is intent on taking you with him.
It is not my fault!” You scream as he runs towards you, because you signed up to be here, “To be all that you could be” in this place 17thousand miles away from your front step and the car you bought with your “signing bonus” you don’t even get cheap gas, you won’t ever drive it again and if you die, who will pay it off? But it is your fault because you signed up for bullet proof vests, concrete bunkers, internet phone calls home and halfway armored wannabe HUMVEES.
And now, looking at this boy who has your death in his eyes, who has his death day written on his heart, and all you want to do is go home, fuck the mission, you want to live. You want to go to home, which is the very place that you signed up to escape from.
But niggas is dying all over the world and now it’s contest about where, how and who gets to kill you-the block or the battlefield. For most of us the block is the battlefield, so you choose your battles and die well.
-M 8/05
The color of power
What’s the color of power? Coz whiteboys walking around in my neighborhood don’t look too scary. Don’t look too dangerous, don’t look too tuff. And niggas in boardrooms often look constipated and emasculated-but I seem to remember that Frederick Douglass was a rider. I seem to recall that Nat Turner, Toussaint, Fanny Lou Hamer and Sojourner They was some real troopers, no they were commanders, they had real power.
They did not wait, for their freedom, for other people to tell them they were free. They stepped up to the plate and demanded theirs.
Untitled 2
We b cookie cutouts
Bboy
Black revolutionary
Tupac ologists
Ride for ours
Day and night
Night and Day
We West Coast East Coast Midwest Downsouth to overseas
Us be them that light the world on fire
We roll it up
Smoke it
Leave a trail behind us
Blaze one for all to follow
Believe that
Because we be that
Cookie cutter
Black revolutionaries
Give high fives to
Set fire to minds
And flesh if necessary
Remix-wait for the
Remix they brewin now in K to Eights
Worldwide
It’s going to be so fucking cold….
We be cookie cutter
Bboy revolutionaries
Dance furiously
Tear the roof off the motherfucker
Us light up the night with our bodies and voices
Dance so hard our sweat glisten and glow
We shinin-no diamonds needed
We bold, we strong, we cold
We leave our names on walls
Our stories fly through the air And our love is eternal.
-M
untitled 3
You have been black for 5110 days
I have been the same for 12 410 days
And together we have less 20, 000 of not being Negroes
Of not being deemed human here in our place of residence
Where we are supposed to believe in, sign up for “Homeland Security”
The Patriot Act does seem to be
Designed for others
And I worry about that.
But America the Beautiful
She better not move too fast
Because it’s a lot of us
Citizens/resident aliens
That still got internment camp dreams
And real strange forearm tattoos
America been busy bracing herself
For the invasion that already happened
But US got a hard on for fat culos
And brown nipples
Nappy hair and brown skin
Stay hot
-M
Untitled 4
Today Reagan died
And I am really waiting on them to
Half mast the President
Whole bunch of residents
Highly disaffected
Feel betrayed and rejected
Really disrespected
But Dubya
Couldn’t care less
Carefree nights and
Days
A real Texas Killing machine
“I remember” says the Alamo
to the young Mexican rifleman
You will bear arms once again
Mijo-fear not.
You will fight again.
Hot bullets + your young lungs=the end of breathing
Too many young black men
Line up to hold and carry
Black burners
That hold hot bullets
Specially designed to pierce your young flesh
Non discrimination when and where they choose to enter, to meet your vital organs
They rush to remove the air from your lungs and replace it with blood
They want to push you closer to the ground
So now it’s you or the 15 year old with the hand grenade, who knows that he is going to die and is intent on taking you with him. He has concentrated his whole lifes meaning into an explosive power held in his right hand and he is intent on taking you with him.
It is not my fault!” You scream as he runs towards you, because you signed up to be here, “To be all that you could be” in this place 17thousand miles away from your front step and the car you bought with your “signing bonus” you don’t even get cheap gas, you won’t ever drive it again and if you die, who will pay it off? But it is your fault because you signed up for bullet proof vests, concrete bunkers, internet phone calls home and halfway armored wannabe HUMVEES.
And now, looking at this boy who has your death in his eyes, who has his death day written on his heart, and all you want to do is go home, fuck the mission, you want to live. You want to go to home, which is the very place that you signed up to escape from.
But niggas is dying all over the world and now it’s contest about where, how and who gets to kill you-the block or the battlefield. For most of us the block is the battlefield, so you choose your battles and die well.
-M 8/05
The color of power
What’s the color of power? Coz whiteboys walking around in my neighborhood don’t look too scary. Don’t look too dangerous, don’t look too tuff. And niggas in boardrooms often look constipated and emasculated-but I seem to remember that Frederick Douglass was a rider. I seem to recall that Nat Turner, Toussaint, Fanny Lou Hamer and Sojourner They was some real troopers, no they were commanders, they had real power.
They did not wait, for their freedom, for other people to tell them they were free. They stepped up to the plate and demanded theirs.
Untitled 2
We b cookie cutouts
Bboy
Black revolutionary
Tupac ologists
Ride for ours
Day and night
Night and Day
We West Coast East Coast Midwest Downsouth to overseas
Us be them that light the world on fire
We roll it up
Smoke it
Leave a trail behind us
Blaze one for all to follow
Believe that
Because we be that
Cookie cutter
Black revolutionaries
Give high fives to
Set fire to minds
And flesh if necessary
Remix-wait for the
Remix they brewin now in K to Eights
Worldwide
It’s going to be so fucking cold….
We be cookie cutter
Bboy revolutionaries
Dance furiously
Tear the roof off the motherfucker
Us light up the night with our bodies and voices
Dance so hard our sweat glisten and glow
We shinin-no diamonds needed
We bold, we strong, we cold
We leave our names on walls
Our stories fly through the air And our love is eternal.
-M
untitled 3
You have been black for 5110 days
I have been the same for 12 410 days
And together we have less 20, 000 of not being Negroes
Of not being deemed human here in our place of residence
Where we are supposed to believe in, sign up for “Homeland Security”
The Patriot Act does seem to be
Designed for others
And I worry about that.
But America the Beautiful
She better not move too fast
Because it’s a lot of us
Citizens/resident aliens
That still got internment camp dreams
And real strange forearm tattoos
America been busy bracing herself
For the invasion that already happened
But US got a hard on for fat culos
And brown nipples
Nappy hair and brown skin
Stay hot
-M
Untitled 4
Today Reagan died
And I am really waiting on them to
Half mast the President
Whole bunch of residents
Highly disaffected
Feel betrayed and rejected
Really disrespected
But Dubya
Couldn’t care less
Carefree nights and
Days
A real Texas Killing machine
“I remember” says the Alamo
to the young Mexican rifleman
You will bear arms once again
Mijo-fear not.
You will fight again.
Monday, May 09, 2005
What makes a man?
It is not age. There are a lot of old boys running around. On TV, we see these guys who got rich riding skateboards and playing video games. The lines between men and boys are increasingly becoming blurry. It is not money. There are plenty of poor people who are amazing men, who take care of their responsibilities and do what needs to be done. I think it has a lot to do with responsibility. Learning to be responsible, thoughtful about circumstances and to have initiative, these are some of the makings of a man, an adult.
I feel like I am WAY behind the curve. I need to cultivate better self discipline, and a better work ethic. I can't beat up on myself too much, but I know that I can be doing a lot more than I am doing now.
In any case, that's todays submission.
I feel like I am WAY behind the curve. I need to cultivate better self discipline, and a better work ethic. I can't beat up on myself too much, but I know that I can be doing a lot more than I am doing now.
In any case, that's todays submission.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
A change in perspective
is sometimes all you need to change your life. A wake up call to the rest of your life. Me, I've had to lose everything several times to know what is most important in life. What is most important to me is my relationship with God, my role in my family and my role in the community. Everything else outside of those areas is secondary, tertiary-don't mean much.
I am still changing, growing and becoming the man that I ultimately want to be. It's not easy, but the harder I am learning to work, the better I am becoming.
Lately, I have been increasing my technical abilities, upgrading my skills. I've been building my website, learning to edit video, and do stuff in Photoshop.
I'm lazy though, and the hard thing for me is to sustain my energy around work. I could blame it on my ADHD, but that sounds too much like scapegoating and excuse making.
On and on, I am just making my way in the world, and I hope to leave it better than it was when I got here.
I am still changing, growing and becoming the man that I ultimately want to be. It's not easy, but the harder I am learning to work, the better I am becoming.
Lately, I have been increasing my technical abilities, upgrading my skills. I've been building my website, learning to edit video, and do stuff in Photoshop.
I'm lazy though, and the hard thing for me is to sustain my energy around work. I could blame it on my ADHD, but that sounds too much like scapegoating and excuse making.
On and on, I am just making my way in the world, and I hope to leave it better than it was when I got here.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Laila Nichole
I love my daughter. She is the most wonderful little girl I have ever seen. She is gorgeous. So much has happened around the birth of my daughter, but I know that whatever sacrifices I have to make, it will be worth it. She's amazing. She has a great 3 tooth smile, beautiful bright shining eyes and a super strong voice. She is kind of crawling, but I can barely put her down when she's anywhere near me.
Thank you God for Laila.
Thank you God for Laila.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Philly
Goals
Im here, in my other hometown Philadelphia. It is my sons Bday/Easter/Parents Anniversary. My son is 11 today, its Easter Sunday and my dad and stepmom celebrate 27 years of marriage today. Hurray. There are several reasons for me to rejoice but I am fighting feeling like shit. I am not in the place where I want to be and I keep stumbling. I have to find a way to make the things I want happen. I have to get into graduate school and simultaneously increase my income this year by at least $15,000. I have to get another car, I have to find an apartment and I have to at least start to get out of debt.
That's the personal stuff.
My son is a good kid. I brought his buddy Marcelo, out here with me and they are having a really good time. I can tell that my son has been getting really spoiled by his mom because he acts really differently around me-she babies him. He acts like a baby around her, but I guess that's what moms do. I wouldn't know. My parenting situation has been less than ideal, both as a child and as a parent, but I do know what I have to do to continue to improve.I will not dwell on the negative. I recognize that I have some very significant challenges but that is all they are is challenges. Nothing can defer me from my purpose. Nothing.
Philly is a good place to be when you need a reality check. The environment here does not allow people to bullshit or be caught up in fantasy. This city is all about keeping it real. My family has been talking to me about some very real stuff, encouraging me, but also letting me know what is real and what is fantasy. I have always been an impressionable person and the things that I hear from people I really internalize. That is one the reasons my teachers would say "He doesn't listen". I may have not been able to articulate that about myself, but when you are unsure as to who has what intentions about you, it is best to listen to your own inner guidance rather than be influenced in the wrong direction. Positive reinforcement is something that I thrive from. It doesn't have to be praise, but just an acknowledgement of my direction is enough. I was really touched, a few weeks ago when one of the elders in my community, Baba Omowalle Satterwhite told me that I was doing a good job with my work in the community.
At the same time, I am self directed. As much as I listen to the opinions of others, I do not let others make decisions for me. I have always marched to tbe beat of my own oddly tuned drum. I am not a good follower, because I tend to see things differently than most people and my vision of the way things should be tends to be idealistic and non conformist. I make people uncomfortable because I will call things out and say what is on folks hearts, but they don't have the words to say. These, I know are positive traits that I am using to push myself forward. I don't worry as much about accolades, its a great affirmation that I am doing what I should, but when it gets hard and there is no one there to push me forward, it is my faith in God and the purpose which I was put here for that moves me forward.
Im here, in my other hometown Philadelphia. It is my sons Bday/Easter/Parents Anniversary. My son is 11 today, its Easter Sunday and my dad and stepmom celebrate 27 years of marriage today. Hurray. There are several reasons for me to rejoice but I am fighting feeling like shit. I am not in the place where I want to be and I keep stumbling. I have to find a way to make the things I want happen. I have to get into graduate school and simultaneously increase my income this year by at least $15,000. I have to get another car, I have to find an apartment and I have to at least start to get out of debt.
That's the personal stuff.
My son is a good kid. I brought his buddy Marcelo, out here with me and they are having a really good time. I can tell that my son has been getting really spoiled by his mom because he acts really differently around me-she babies him. He acts like a baby around her, but I guess that's what moms do. I wouldn't know. My parenting situation has been less than ideal, both as a child and as a parent, but I do know what I have to do to continue to improve.I will not dwell on the negative. I recognize that I have some very significant challenges but that is all they are is challenges. Nothing can defer me from my purpose. Nothing.
Philly is a good place to be when you need a reality check. The environment here does not allow people to bullshit or be caught up in fantasy. This city is all about keeping it real. My family has been talking to me about some very real stuff, encouraging me, but also letting me know what is real and what is fantasy. I have always been an impressionable person and the things that I hear from people I really internalize. That is one the reasons my teachers would say "He doesn't listen". I may have not been able to articulate that about myself, but when you are unsure as to who has what intentions about you, it is best to listen to your own inner guidance rather than be influenced in the wrong direction. Positive reinforcement is something that I thrive from. It doesn't have to be praise, but just an acknowledgement of my direction is enough. I was really touched, a few weeks ago when one of the elders in my community, Baba Omowalle Satterwhite told me that I was doing a good job with my work in the community.
At the same time, I am self directed. As much as I listen to the opinions of others, I do not let others make decisions for me. I have always marched to tbe beat of my own oddly tuned drum. I am not a good follower, because I tend to see things differently than most people and my vision of the way things should be tends to be idealistic and non conformist. I make people uncomfortable because I will call things out and say what is on folks hearts, but they don't have the words to say. These, I know are positive traits that I am using to push myself forward. I don't worry as much about accolades, its a great affirmation that I am doing what I should, but when it gets hard and there is no one there to push me forward, it is my faith in God and the purpose which I was put here for that moves me forward.
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