Love

If there is one thing that I learned from my father it's that there is no such thing as "fair". I know that we reap what we sow. I've done a lot of not to cool things to women in life, so I guess it's my turn to be on the receiving end of some sorrow.
I'm not going into too deeply, but my heart hurts. I'm trying to figure it out, but I don't have any answers.
I'm not really in any position to do anything for anyone, I know. I'm not even keeping my head above water, but having these feelings is hard. I don't think I've experienced anything like this since I was a teen. I am completely distracted and I want to be around her all the time.
That would be great if the feelings were mutual. Shit. I don't know.

Gunsmoke and other things

I'm listening to Project Groundations' "Nothing to Prove" right now and it is simply the best thing that I have heard in a very long time. It's all Roots music from the Virgin Islands. Pure Love from the Beginning to the End. Gunsmoke is the name of the track I was listening to when I started writing this. Go online and get it. www.ProjectGroundation.com

What else? I sent off my manuscript to be edited. I know that I am going to have to do a lot of work on it, so I'm waiting for it to come back.
Oh yeah, I love my daughters mother. She's amazing.

Power to the Peaceful
-M

Depth Perception

Maybe it's me or maybe it's really happening. It seems to me that the level of discussion around meaty topics, real things is deepening. It seems that for the last ten years or so, our (Americans) intellectual interrogation of the media, the government, authority in general has been very low. We get information and accept that information as fact with little or no questions, or if we do ask questions, they are superficial and meaningless.

We watch reality tv to find out what real life is like. Real life is what we experience, each of us as individuals have our own experiences that make up our lives. What is disturbing to me is that the television is in too many cases, the main socializer ouf the youth. I have this expression; "They learned to be Black from TV" I am, more and more meeting people who feel alienated from their own communities feeling like they don't fit in, because they are not like the people on television. Even worse than that would be the alienation of another because that person does not fit into what someone else thinks should be.

I have lived most of my life in Black communities. I have lived on both coasts and spent a lot of time in the South. I come from parents who were both born in and lived for significant amounts of time in the segregated South. My parents were activists. I was named after Malcolm X. I've been to Africa, and I am usually the darkest person in any room that I enter, no matter who else is there. I am about as Black as you can get, culturally and complexion wise, and I have had my identity questioned more times than I can count. I learned how to be Black from my family and our friends, not from TV or books or any second or third source.

What I know is that Black folks are the same whereever we are. We are the same not because we all watched the same thing on BET, but because we really do have a deep culture that permeates our social lives. We all know that the mother is the spiritual head of the Black family, that our God is at the center of that, we all have skin color issues, we trip off the grade of our hair, we cut consonants out of words, we love music, dancing, and storytelling. We do indeed have a common culture, but fewer and fewer people know what it is, because, I believe we adults are letting television raise our kids and not spending enough time on cultural transmission.

We are letting corporate America teach our own kids what their culture should be. We are truly in a battle for the minds and hearts of our kids and we are losing.

No doubt there is a lot of hard work to be done. It took a long time for us to get into the situation we find ourselves in now, but if more of us start doing the work that needs to be done, we will succeed. Success means that our children will not go hungry, we will eradicate that 70% high school dropout rate, we will have healthier families, incarceration rates will go down, domestic violence and drug addiction will go down.
okay, I have some more work to do....

Si se puede.
-M

me

The DeBow Men

L-R Malcolm, Rahsaan, Paris, Jason
My moms family name is DeBow. These are all my male first cousins on her side. I'm the oldest of 8 grandchildren. Between the 8 of us, I think we have something like 12 kids. Funny thing, My mom and her sisters each had one son and the one son had 5 girls. Crazy huh?

Anyway.

My Enemies, thoughts on May 1st and other things.

I am pretty sure that I have posted this before, but Ima repost it here today, because I watched a great documentary this afternoon. It's called "Loose Change" and it very intelligently and systematically examines the events of September 11th, 2001. You can watch it on Google video.

No one has to work very hard to convince me that there are people in the US who are conducting a war on the rest of us. As an African American and a student of history I know that there have been many times in US history when the government has done some terribly heinous things to the citizens to further it's own purposes.

I truly believe that 911 was an event orchestrated to make the American people accept a campaign of war against made up enemies, justify unprecedented defense spending and usher in a new era of American nationalism based on fear and prejudice. That is what has happened. The emphasis is being shifted now though from Arabs to Mexicans and other immigrants. We cannot allow this to happen.

Monday I was in San Jose, California for the "Day without Immigrants" and I saw tens of thousands of people unified to demand that the US treat them as human beings, not "illegals". The arguments are complex, they demand a lot of thought and consideration. The issues and the people wrapped up in the issues demand that we listen and consider more than we have, more than we have in our own little heads and sets of experiences. If we want a just solution to this problem, then we as a nation have to engage in intelligent dialogue and actively listen to one another, not throw sound bites at one another, yell and scream or rely on our often racist knee jerk reactions. Immigrants are human beings. We are treating them like plague carriers or drones. Their children will grow up and be Americans, just as we have. Who cares if they speak only one language? English is in no danger of dying out. If they have enough infrastructure in their communities that they never have to learn English and deal with English speakers, yet still lead productive happy lives, I say more power to them. It is not hurting me or mine. Nobody is going to suffer because some Mexicans don't want to learn English. Nobody is suffering because they may have had to learn some Spanish. Get over yourselves already.
Immigrants are not my enemy, my enemies are the ones who are making the decisions that are making this world unliveable for the future generations.


My Enemy
My enemy
My enemy does not pray to Allah
Or Jesus
Does not recognize the Holy Authority of the Prophet Moses
Or the Buddha
My enemy does not wear elekes for the Orishas,
Does not fear, love or respect Shiva.
My enemy prays to the small temporary gods
Money and Power
He marches into my home
Brandishing a rifle in one hand
And a bible in the other
(my God does not need to rely on scare tactics)
His forked tongue caresses my ear
With a hot sweet poison
That kills slowly but surely
My enemy is not the guise of fair skin
But those with greedy hearts who would trade my life for cash
Who ruthlessly murder our unborn possibilities
Who lustily slaughter potential
My enemy teaches you and yours
that you were born better
and forever
will be better than me and mine
For no real reason at all, no real reason at all
My enemy drops airplanes on America
With people like congressmen and senators
In them
and then calls it an accident
all in the name of power, patriotism
My enemies renamed greed
"compassionate conservatism"
And imperialism "democracy"
My enemies tell lies as truth
And truth as lies
Spin world crazy world spin
These lies they tell inject themselves into the bloodstream
Slow but sure poison
Hot, yet sweet in my ear
My enemy is preparing the world for
slaughter
Like the fatted calf,
And calling it pre emption
In the names of Safety and Democracy
My enemies are the enemies of
God
Truth
Righteousness
Justice
Love
Life
My enemy does not read poems like this.


It looks like I will have all the money I need to get my car out by this Friday. This whole thing has been a tremendous lesson. I knew I could get by without my car, but what I did not know is how much God smiles on me and allows me to learn these hard ass lessons. What did I learn? Take care of tickets and bills upfront. Paying on the backside is way too damn expensive.

Another unrelated comment. B-I love you alot. I really do. I hope that you have patience with me and that you see me for who I truly am. I love you unconditionally. You have given me some gifts that no one else could have, and I am grateful. You and the kids are my inspiration for being a better man. Thank you for your honesty and your friendship.
I know you read this from time to time and I hope that you will see this and know that I am talking about you.

Power to the Peaceful and those who would make this world a better place no matter what the cost.
M