It just is, and that's a hard thing to accept. I have some issues, I know I do. I got all kinds of things to work out, but I am doing it. I've made a lot of progress love, but like I said, life is hard. I look around, I am working, I am writing, I am pushing myself to work even when I least feel like it, and I am not taking the crap that I used to take.
I am also being honest. I am not the man that I used to pretend to be. I need to take my ass to church.
I sent my son home today and I see so much of myself in him. It's true that we pass on to our kids what we don't work through. I see him struggling with things that I still struggle with in my adulthood. We are both absent minded, sensitive people. I see that he also has some esteem issues and that's something that I struggled with.
I don't know what the point of this post is, but I am just trying to get the stuff out of my head so I can process it.
He's a great kid though and I want the best for him. I am determined to do the best I can for him, which means pushing harder than I've pushed to this point. People want to say that it's not the money you give, but having money and not having to worry about things like healthcare or healthy food, or having enough space, all those things lend themselves to a high quality of life.
I want to give my kids the life they deserve, and I get really frustrated with myself because money is so short. I am accustomed to struggling, but this struggle is one that I am really tired of.
My faith is my strength. I will abide in that.
Peace
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