This is personal/Why?

I just re read some of my Blog posts and realized how personal some of this information is. Well what can I say? I have my struggles just like anyone else and I don't know what good it is to hide them. I am a human being, I've made mistakes, but I won't repeat them. I hope that people don't read this and think that I am trying to sound like someone that I am not. I am in a kind of recovery, in that I am rediscovering myself and spending time on intentional self development.
In a lot of ways I have been a bastard, and that is not the person that I want to be remembered for. I honestly don't think that I have done my lifes work yet. I have definitely begun it, I am on task now, but if I die today, my work will not be done.

Why?
A lot of times I look at the kids around me and I get angry because I don't understand what the hell happened. I do understand that the present condition of the black community is the result of generations of deterioration. I understand that drug addiction, economic sabotage, Jim Crow, slavery, etc. All these are reasons why our children are walking around celebrating their/our destruction. I know. But it hurts so bad. I don't understand why more people don't feel the way I do.
I am not mad at 50 Cent, Jadakiss, whatever gangster rapper people are listening to. I am not mad, I like to release just as much as anyone else. I like Jadakiss-a lot. What I don't like is that there is no balance, there are not enough people talking about other things to offer variety in the music and the culture. Too much of anything is a bad thing. One of the reasons that "conscious rap" became such a cliche is that everyone was doing it and many of the peopple rapping didn't even believe what they were saying, they were just doing it because that's what was hot. Gangster rap is the same way today.
All these brothers talking about this stuff, you know most of them are lying. You have to be a really cold, soulless human being to do half of the stuff they talk about, but it's cool these days. It has become cool to dance, make songs and films, create art that not only chronicles but celebrates our own destruction as a people.
What is going on people? Please lets wake up and stop this.


Peace
Malcolm "First Citizen of Nairobi, California" Hoover