just thinking about the state of African people in the world today....
We didn't leave Africa as willing immigrants, most of us.
There have been billions of words written about it, I'm not going to say anything new.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Never Forget
just thinking about the state of African people in the world today....
We didn't leave Africa as willing immigrants, most of us.
There have been billions of words written about it, I'm not going to say anything new.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
100th Post
This is my 100th post, and I'd like to celebrate it by....well whatever. It's my 100th post.
I feel much better than I did the other day after my car got towed because I wasn't taking care of all my business when I needed to. Thanks God, for giving me some direction.
I will say that I have learned this lesson. It really is better to take care of stuff upfront and get it done than to have it come back later and bite you in the ass like these tickets did with my car.
Now I have to just find a new place to live.
Send me your good thoughts.
Power to the Peaceful.
-M
I feel much better than I did the other day after my car got towed because I wasn't taking care of all my business when I needed to. Thanks God, for giving me some direction.
I will say that I have learned this lesson. It really is better to take care of stuff upfront and get it done than to have it come back later and bite you in the ass like these tickets did with my car.
Now I have to just find a new place to live.
Send me your good thoughts.
Power to the Peaceful.
-M
Monday, April 24, 2006
It really is about me
I know that. Okay, I am bad with paperwork. I admit that it is a weakness of mine. I do my taxes late, I turn in timesheets at the last minute, and I forget to pay tickets. Those first two symptoms are inconvenient, but there are workarounds. That last one got my car towed in SF today.
Damn.
I need my car, but even more than that, I have to get my life to the point where I am not in crisis from minute to minute. I do not want to be anyones' "cause." Like "oh let's go save Malcolm" because I have been that before, saved and other peoples' causes. I don't think that it was all that good for me, to get saved so much.
Not that I don't need help, we all do at various times. I just don't want to feel like this anymore, I want to stand completely on my own two feet, not on someone else's shoulders. I have people who rely on me to be strong and I have to be able to help them to be strong. I can't keep creating these situations by my inattention.
God Help Me, because I don't know what to do.
-M
Damn.
I need my car, but even more than that, I have to get my life to the point where I am not in crisis from minute to minute. I do not want to be anyones' "cause." Like "oh let's go save Malcolm" because I have been that before, saved and other peoples' causes. I don't think that it was all that good for me, to get saved so much.
Not that I don't need help, we all do at various times. I just don't want to feel like this anymore, I want to stand completely on my own two feet, not on someone else's shoulders. I have people who rely on me to be strong and I have to be able to help them to be strong. I can't keep creating these situations by my inattention.
God Help Me, because I don't know what to do.
-M
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Poems for you
Black Body
He flung his black body
out in space
on the hope that someone
who had a vested interest
in his health
would catch him
The Pledge
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands.
One nation under God with Liberty and Justice for All.
Bullshit.
I pledge non allegiance to the rag, the flag of the Unlimited Bullshit that is Amerikkka.
I promise never to forget the genocide of it's native people.
Leading them from Gods plains to Mans' steeples.
I shall always remember the theft of the Afrikan millions that made White trillions.
I promise never to forget the American non concern with the Japanese intern.
I promise to always remember who turned their back on the fleeing Jew, you.
I promise not to forgive the inhumanity perpetrated on the citizens and denizens of this land that are labeled Amerikan.
Many nations without a God with Liberty and Justice for the Rich.
girl, interrupted
young lady, you are the promise of sweet womanhood converted into something ugly. Your young body betrays itself
you look like something that you are not yet. A woman.
Your mind twisted and convinced that you are grown, coz you got ass and titties bigger than your mamas
coz men want to get close to you and get in between your thighs
coz you look like something you are not.
your short fifteen years have certainly been brutal, but sweetheart, they have not prepared you to adequately nurture yourself, much less any other
a woman loves herself
she knows her magic
you do not yet know yours
but back to you little mama
your mind is too precious to waste
on bullshit
but these “men”, these super predators who call themselves men
who rush to wait for you just outside the school zone
who only want to press their sweaty dead flesh against yours
only want to steal away your beauty, your youth
they only want to wear you for a little while
they will wear you out
Their time has passed and the little trinkets they give you
the little pieces of gold nothing that they trade you for your time
and pussy
cannot replace what they steal from you
They will tear you apart
“I been fucking niggas like you”
she said to me
“who the fuck is you to tell me? Nigga you ain’t shit”
and I said
“sweetheart. yes, you been fucked. By a lot of niggas. but you don’t know nobody like me. All I want from you is for you to love yourself enough to be okay without them niggas.”
They will destroy you
And I ain’t shit
I must not be because I do not have enough power to save you. I cannot be in enough places at once to keep you safe from those nasty motherfuckers. I do not have enough power, my arms are not long and wide enough to hold you close. To love you through your precious childhood
I ain’t shit
but I wish I was.
the cold part is you ain’t gon’ be shit either when they finished with you.
He flung his black body
out in space
on the hope that someone
who had a vested interest
in his health
would catch him
The Pledge
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands.
One nation under God with Liberty and Justice for All.
Bullshit.
I pledge non allegiance to the rag, the flag of the Unlimited Bullshit that is Amerikkka.
I promise never to forget the genocide of it's native people.
Leading them from Gods plains to Mans' steeples.
I shall always remember the theft of the Afrikan millions that made White trillions.
I promise never to forget the American non concern with the Japanese intern.
I promise to always remember who turned their back on the fleeing Jew, you.
I promise not to forgive the inhumanity perpetrated on the citizens and denizens of this land that are labeled Amerikan.
Many nations without a God with Liberty and Justice for the Rich.
girl, interrupted
young lady, you are the promise of sweet womanhood converted into something ugly. Your young body betrays itself
you look like something that you are not yet. A woman.
Your mind twisted and convinced that you are grown, coz you got ass and titties bigger than your mamas
coz men want to get close to you and get in between your thighs
coz you look like something you are not.
your short fifteen years have certainly been brutal, but sweetheart, they have not prepared you to adequately nurture yourself, much less any other
a woman loves herself
she knows her magic
you do not yet know yours
but back to you little mama
your mind is too precious to waste
on bullshit
but these “men”, these super predators who call themselves men
who rush to wait for you just outside the school zone
who only want to press their sweaty dead flesh against yours
only want to steal away your beauty, your youth
they only want to wear you for a little while
they will wear you out
Their time has passed and the little trinkets they give you
the little pieces of gold nothing that they trade you for your time
and pussy
cannot replace what they steal from you
They will tear you apart
“I been fucking niggas like you”
she said to me
“who the fuck is you to tell me? Nigga you ain’t shit”
and I said
“sweetheart. yes, you been fucked. By a lot of niggas. but you don’t know nobody like me. All I want from you is for you to love yourself enough to be okay without them niggas.”
They will destroy you
And I ain’t shit
I must not be because I do not have enough power to save you. I cannot be in enough places at once to keep you safe from those nasty motherfuckers. I do not have enough power, my arms are not long and wide enough to hold you close. To love you through your precious childhood
I ain’t shit
but I wish I was.
the cold part is you ain’t gon’ be shit either when they finished with you.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
My students are off the hook!
I'm in my office, hiding right now. These kids are really on one today. I know, it's sunny, the weather is beautiful, they're beautiful, sap is rising, birds are singing, whatever! These kids are really acting like Babays kids....smoking, cursing, shooting dice....all the things they know that they're not supposed to do here.
I'm not on one for no reason, I tell my kids that people have the wrong impression of them, and that they have to be in charge of managing what they do. They can't, we can't hope to control what people think of us, but we can decide to not do things that will make people think ill of us.
Maybe a lot of it is the way I was raised and the way I was as a young person. The last thing I wanted people to think of me is that I was up to no good, or a criminal or anything like that. For a little while, I was up to no good, and that kind of attention was really unwelcome. So part of me is saying to them "You're stupid. Why are you calling all this attention to yourself?" Another part of me is thinking "Damn kids! When I was younger, we would have never (fill in the blanks)" and then another part of the dialogue is "people are going to look at you and think that you are less than amazing, beautiful, intelligent and wonderful and they are going to not treat you well."
So what am I to do?
I'm not on one for no reason, I tell my kids that people have the wrong impression of them, and that they have to be in charge of managing what they do. They can't, we can't hope to control what people think of us, but we can decide to not do things that will make people think ill of us.
Maybe a lot of it is the way I was raised and the way I was as a young person. The last thing I wanted people to think of me is that I was up to no good, or a criminal or anything like that. For a little while, I was up to no good, and that kind of attention was really unwelcome. So part of me is saying to them "You're stupid. Why are you calling all this attention to yourself?" Another part of me is thinking "Damn kids! When I was younger, we would have never (fill in the blanks)" and then another part of the dialogue is "people are going to look at you and think that you are less than amazing, beautiful, intelligent and wonderful and they are going to not treat you well."
So what am I to do?
Rape
So some people got arrested in the Duke University rape scandal. I have to say that I don't know what happened, but clearly something messed up happened. In all the years that I have been watching the news and taking interest in things like this, I don't think I've seen this much energy dedicated to defending alleged rapists in the press. The coach resigned. The University canceled the season. Clearly something was terribly wrong.
I have to ask the obvious question: If it was a black basketball team and a white stripper said that she got raped, what would the response look like?
My experience tells me that America would be in an uproar. I know that the value of Black Life in the United States and the world is low. We don't as a people, seem to even value ourselves very much, so how can we expect anyone else to? What will it take for us to see ourselves and one another as the precious, irreplaceable beings that we are?
I have to ask the obvious question: If it was a black basketball team and a white stripper said that she got raped, what would the response look like?
My experience tells me that America would be in an uproar. I know that the value of Black Life in the United States and the world is low. We don't as a people, seem to even value ourselves very much, so how can we expect anyone else to? What will it take for us to see ourselves and one another as the precious, irreplaceable beings that we are?
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Today
It's warm outside and the air here in EPA smells so good. There's all kinds of craziness in the air. It's spring. Yesterday I saw two young brothers get arrested. It went like this: I was driving around EPA about to go to Oakland and I saw two of my students, one in the car, one sitting in the window. I asked them if they needed a jump or some help, left my car to go check it out and the police rolled up 4 deep. Turns out the car was stolen. Damn.
What the hell? I don't know what happened, if they stole the car or what, but somewhere along the line yesterday, those boys made a series of bad choices.
It kills me to see our kids in these situations these dumb ass circumstances that they don't have to endure. So much of it, so much failure is built into our consciousness, we don't know we just do shit, just to do it.
Seems like that anyway.
You want to see something beautiful? Look at this rose that was growing in front of my house.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Home Again
I went out after work last night and played drums with my good friend Eric Arnold. Eric is a writer. In any case he lives in Oakland, and I was in need of some deep spiritual soothing so we took the drums out to Lake Merritt and played for a while.
I'll tell you how beautiful Oakland is. We were playing and this older white lady in a housecoat comes out and walks over to us. It's late, like 11 pm and we are two brothers in the dark, playing African drums. No white person in their right mind should approach Black people playing drums at night, it's just not safe. You don't know what could be happening-we could be calling all kinds of stuff into being, and some of us are kinda pissed. jokes, all jokes....not really.
Anyway having said that, she walks over and in the nicest way explains that although she enjoys the music, it's late and there are no apartments 200 yards down the shore of the lake.
Honestly, I just had to smile and comply. She wasn't scared, she was not at all disrespectful. I love Oakland.
The world tells us that we should all be afraid and not be real with other, hide in our houses and not talk to one another. I don't know who that lady was, but I hope she's out there showing people how to be a real human being.
The other thing is this. I don't drum to entertain other people. I drum to get in touch, to talk to my ancestors, to get in touch with the Creator. It's cool if people listen, but sometimes it throws me off. I was thinking about it this morning, because sometimes I get irritated and I stop when people listen. I like to perform, I'll always read some poetry, or talk to some folks. It's because I am not as confident about my drumming and I get thrown off, that's the real reason I don't like people to listen.
Peace to the Peaceful
your brother in the struggle,
M
I'll tell you how beautiful Oakland is. We were playing and this older white lady in a housecoat comes out and walks over to us. It's late, like 11 pm and we are two brothers in the dark, playing African drums. No white person in their right mind should approach Black people playing drums at night, it's just not safe. You don't know what could be happening-we could be calling all kinds of stuff into being, and some of us are kinda pissed. jokes, all jokes....not really.
Anyway having said that, she walks over and in the nicest way explains that although she enjoys the music, it's late and there are no apartments 200 yards down the shore of the lake.
Honestly, I just had to smile and comply. She wasn't scared, she was not at all disrespectful. I love Oakland.
The world tells us that we should all be afraid and not be real with other, hide in our houses and not talk to one another. I don't know who that lady was, but I hope she's out there showing people how to be a real human being.
The other thing is this. I don't drum to entertain other people. I drum to get in touch, to talk to my ancestors, to get in touch with the Creator. It's cool if people listen, but sometimes it throws me off. I was thinking about it this morning, because sometimes I get irritated and I stop when people listen. I like to perform, I'll always read some poetry, or talk to some folks. It's because I am not as confident about my drumming and I get thrown off, that's the real reason I don't like people to listen.
Peace to the Peaceful
your brother in the struggle,
M
Sunday, April 09, 2006
More to love
I went to my (Queen Mother) Aunt Marys' memorial service. She was an amazing woman. I am thankful for her effect on my life.
I will write more about the ceremony tommorrow or the next day. But I will say that without her I would not know how to love my people as much as I do. She taught me to love my people, no matter what.
And I am going to be honest here folks, loving my people is not an option, but we are in crisis and it is tough to always be there for anyone who is in crisis all the damn time! That's what it is though.
In any case, her celebration was lovely, my daughter met three of her cousins that she had not ever seen, Lexis, Lyric and Lena. My daughters name is Laila. I swear we did not plan that, it's just L names are in with the Hoover clan these days. Lena and Lyric are fraternal twins but they all have that big ass Hoover head, so all of the girls look somewhat alike.
Big Blue Frog-my First Poem
I am a big blue frog
I am a big blue frog
I can fly though I don’t know why
I am a big blue frog.
Bleed
We Bad
Ruffle feathers like bad weather
We young stormclouds
Dark on the horizon
Bad news
Niggas want to rumble real bad
Our blood be boiling
Be wanting to
Lock hands
Put it on somebody
We really want to fuck some stuff up
But what is that gon’ do?
How we gon’ handle this?
Blood gon’ be shed
Somebody going to jail
And Somebody else going to the hospital
Stab wounds, gunshots, take a long time to heal
But not as long as our spirits will take
Spirits will long remember
What these feet and fists feel like
Balled up made hard for contact against soft flesh
We will long remember what it feels like to have stomach folded over feet
Head buzzing
Blood in our mouths
Ears and face hot
So damn hot
Our spirits will not forget
This violence, this basic betrayal
Of what is best about us
Why we forgot how to come back from the place
Where our words don’t work
So we ride back to the words on one anothers’ pain
And so it goes:
“Bleed nigga bleed! Bleed nigga, nigga bleed! Nigga Bleed till you and I die. Nigga bleed till we die. Nigga bleed”
Nigga, I want you to bleed for me,
Your blood sacrifice is going to be my penance,
You on the cross me for me and everybody like me.
I need to forget so I am going to make you bleedI am going to take it out on your flesh
Until I cant shoot no more
Until I can’t beat you no more
Until you can’t breathe no more
I will write more about the ceremony tommorrow or the next day. But I will say that without her I would not know how to love my people as much as I do. She taught me to love my people, no matter what.
And I am going to be honest here folks, loving my people is not an option, but we are in crisis and it is tough to always be there for anyone who is in crisis all the damn time! That's what it is though.
In any case, her celebration was lovely, my daughter met three of her cousins that she had not ever seen, Lexis, Lyric and Lena. My daughters name is Laila. I swear we did not plan that, it's just L names are in with the Hoover clan these days. Lena and Lyric are fraternal twins but they all have that big ass Hoover head, so all of the girls look somewhat alike.
Big Blue Frog-my First Poem
I am a big blue frog
I am a big blue frog
I can fly though I don’t know why
I am a big blue frog.
Bleed
We Bad
Ruffle feathers like bad weather
We young stormclouds
Dark on the horizon
Bad news
Niggas want to rumble real bad
Our blood be boiling
Be wanting to
Lock hands
Put it on somebody
We really want to fuck some stuff up
But what is that gon’ do?
How we gon’ handle this?
Blood gon’ be shed
Somebody going to jail
And Somebody else going to the hospital
Stab wounds, gunshots, take a long time to heal
But not as long as our spirits will take
Spirits will long remember
What these feet and fists feel like
Balled up made hard for contact against soft flesh
We will long remember what it feels like to have stomach folded over feet
Head buzzing
Blood in our mouths
Ears and face hot
So damn hot
Our spirits will not forget
This violence, this basic betrayal
Of what is best about us
Why we forgot how to come back from the place
Where our words don’t work
So we ride back to the words on one anothers’ pain
And so it goes:
“Bleed nigga bleed! Bleed nigga, nigga bleed! Nigga Bleed till you and I die. Nigga bleed till we die. Nigga bleed”
Nigga, I want you to bleed for me,
Your blood sacrifice is going to be my penance,
You on the cross me for me and everybody like me.
I need to forget so I am going to make you bleedI am going to take it out on your flesh
Until I cant shoot no more
Until I can’t beat you no more
Until you can’t breathe no more
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
Congresswoman McKinney is being assaulted again
The media is a trip. Maybe it's just me and my paranoid self, seeing as I am a Black Man living in America at a time when the media has gone from being semi independent to the propagandist arm of the US government. One of the things I teach in my class is media literacy, the ability to look at and analyze the media.
Well today I turn my eye on the Associated Press and the article today on Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, a Democrat from Georgia. Apparently, she was trying to enter the building and a Capitol Police Officer didn't recognize her, and attempted to detain her, somehow he got punched. First of all, how he didn't know who she was is beyond me. There are not a lot of Black women in Congress, so it's not like she blended into the crowd. I don't know, maybe it was a new cop. According to what I read, she wasn't wearing her pin, but she showed her Congressional ID. After that, the cop still tried to search her, and she refused. In any case, the sister did a Pac and unloaded on the cop when he tried to detain her. That's what I'm talking about! Sister Cynthia obviously is not a punk! I do not advocate socking up cops, but I also don't believe in us letting the POLICE intimidate us. She stood up for herself and now the media is trying to make her look crazy.
I am sure this is not the first time that a legislator has had a problem with the Capitol police, the issue is why isn't the cop being questioned? Why is so much attention being paid to Cynthia McKinney when we have all these Republican Congressional criminals? Why is it news that she wears an Afro and that she used to have cornrows? What about where she stands on the issues of the day? What do her constituents think?
In any case,
Power to the Peaceful
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060403/ap_on_go_co/mckinney_scuffle
Well today I turn my eye on the Associated Press and the article today on Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, a Democrat from Georgia. Apparently, she was trying to enter the building and a Capitol Police Officer didn't recognize her, and attempted to detain her, somehow he got punched. First of all, how he didn't know who she was is beyond me. There are not a lot of Black women in Congress, so it's not like she blended into the crowd. I don't know, maybe it was a new cop. According to what I read, she wasn't wearing her pin, but she showed her Congressional ID. After that, the cop still tried to search her, and she refused. In any case, the sister did a Pac and unloaded on the cop when he tried to detain her. That's what I'm talking about! Sister Cynthia obviously is not a punk! I do not advocate socking up cops, but I also don't believe in us letting the POLICE intimidate us. She stood up for herself and now the media is trying to make her look crazy.
I am sure this is not the first time that a legislator has had a problem with the Capitol police, the issue is why isn't the cop being questioned? Why is so much attention being paid to Cynthia McKinney when we have all these Republican Congressional criminals? Why is it news that she wears an Afro and that she used to have cornrows? What about where she stands on the issues of the day? What do her constituents think?
In any case,
Power to the Peaceful
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060403/ap_on_go_co/mckinney_scuffle
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